Author Christy Angelette

Mental illness can have you feeling limited and insufficient to function in society, let alone live in it. Can we choose how we think, feel, and respond? I’ve spent the last few years transitioning my thinking.  I am living proof you can reprogram your mind, choose how to respond, despite how you feel.  The trick is self-awareness. Seeing the thought process as a gun in my hand, I think about my target before I react and pull the trigger.  Relapses still happen but are few and far in between.  This year, I’m holding myself accountable for my actions and calling out those who intentionally or unintentionally trigger me. Detoxifying mentally and emotionally. Purging and purifying myself spiritually. Meditation, yoga, Journaling, and deep breathing have helped more than anything, being without my children was the sacrifice for my sanity. As I press on being a part-time mom, God relieves my agony and I experience the peace that transcends all reasoning.

I wrote the above almost a month ago, saved it as a draft until now. Encountering my Ex, diving back into the waters that almost took me under caused a setback. The black-out rage and paranoia were back, along with depression and grief; making me doubt my faith, causing me to question why God allowed me to go backward; when all I wanted was to remain free, healthy, and move forward. I’m bound by children to a narcissist, currently picking myself up mentally and emotionally off the ground. I’ll have to reset and do the work to get my life back on track, as the journey continues…

Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
2 Corinthians 1:9 NIV