I have two sides,
The one I show who is dignified and the one I keep medicated sedated and spiritually deactivated.
the alternate version of me, my ride or die is bold and cold, but quiet, calm, and shy is how I identify.
The person I choose to be does not come naturally and people tend to mishandle me.
Living a life a solitude with the companion of peace is a price to pay for sanity.
I have a country girl swag. She’s a sexy city chick who wears heels. I wear glasses and believe myself to be average.
A beast lives within the beauty, occupying space in my mind, she arises during turbulent times making an example of those who repeatedly tip the scales and cross the line.
Since I was a little girl, from the very beginning; dysfunction and violence is what I was raised in. Up and down. round and round life has been like a constant merry go round leaving me dizzy.
She’s attracted to the charming, aggressive and abusive guys being reintroduced to childhood trauma.
The type of man I refer to as narcissistic manipulative ass holes, who prey upon vulnerable souls.
When I mentally check out, she checks in picking up the pieces of my shattered existence.
She’s the fun party girl, always on to the next best thing, chasing the thrill, While I would rather be home alone chasing the dream. After many years and oceans of tears we have evolved and unified.
I know my worth and that I am loved. No longer is the abandoned little girl fighting battles on her own.
On the 8th day of January 2016 late after midnight. I got out of my bed and onto my knees pleaded to Jesus for the release of the torment in me.
No longer am I a willing participant of abuse because Jesus touched me. I’m a survivor of an unfortunate life who is healing from within. God is restoring that which had been stolen.
Instead of two minds, he repaired what was broken and made me whole. No longer divided and decimating like a bomb with a triggered response.
The little girl was absorbed into my womanhood. I am now In control of myself, overcoming the trauma, and embracing life as a woman who is healing, chasing destiny, living, and loving myself completely.
I am not my diagnosis I am Christy.
Author Christy Angelette 
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