Author Christy Angelette

Living with PTSD can be horrifying. Reliving your trauma in a dream is overwhelming on the psyche, most of my trauma occurred during childhood. I often have night terrors of the one who traumatized me, inflicting the deepest wounds, that scab over and bleed out with ought warning. My mother is the monster in my nightmares, chasing after me with anger, fury, and rage. I run, hide and sometimes I fly. Upon awakening, I am internally shaking. The nightmares are a manifestation of what really happened, she often pulled out knifes in attempts to harm me, once stabbing my father as I ran passed. After the nightmares, I wake up feeling irritable, not wanting to talk or be bothered by anything or anybody. It takes alone time with myself and God to restore some balance and positive energy, this is my experience of living and healing from 23 years of childhood to adult parental trauma. My mother died days after my 23 birthday, she had physically and verbally abused me prior to her death. My book “Unbalanced” Is a story written about my trauma and the beginnings of mental dysfunction. I had to write book, the first only highlighted one incident of many. I wasn’t able to face it all at once, so I saved the rest for the sequel. I still love my mom, sounds strange to have affection for one who caused so much pain;without judgment I realize we all have two sides, the darkness and light within ourselves. We have to choose to think differently, react cautiously and seek help when needed. It’s often generational curses that follow us from one generation to the next. Self awareness and belief in a higher power, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ can help to concur that. I’m alive today, only because of my faith.