Author Christy Angelette

Many have complimented me on my beauty. A few have stood there in the moment and stared, attracted to the radiant energy pulling them in. The way I see myself has changed over the years.  True beauty is the essence of what flourishes within.  Standing before the mirror I see a reflection of whatever I’m experiencing. Pain, joy, brokenness, or just plain tired of living. Sometimes in my eyes, I’m ugly. Listening to lies on repeat in my mind, I silence them with truth and plant life-affirming seeds. God made me worthy.  He created and loved me on purpose. I am not perfect, no one is. 

Now that we have gotten beyond the beauty. Let’s discuss what’s underneath. You’ll find, Feelings and frustrations felt by me. Medically speaking, they call my up and downs bipolar mood swings. The COVID19 pandemic tag-teamed with depression has thrown me for a loop.  Coping skills were not enough. I decided to seek additional help, currently two weeks in taking antidepressants.  When barely hanging on to life, we must rely on our inner fight, grab hold of the ledge and pull ourselves back up.  It’s been hard, I admit I’ve been there a time or two, teetering on the edge of my own emotional cliff. God is my source. Faith is the lifeline. I often find myself thinking of those who gave up the fight and those who unwilling have lost their life.  In remembrance, I carry on to see and proclaim that endurance with persistence pays off in victory. Mindful to be gracious of the time I’m given. living life on purpose, refining the raw talent, enriching the lives of others, growing, and loving as love comes.  It takes work to be mentally healthy, at times requires medication. It definitely takes practice, prayer, and patience.

To my mental health warriors, I know this pandemic may be weighing in on you too. Apply those healthy coping skills and know there is no shame in taking your pills.  I often face and fight these struggles all by myself, until the time arises and I need to ask for help.  Don’ ever give up, but rest if you must. there’s something greater on the other side of pain, leading to peace and purpose. Continuing my journey I am learning there is more to gain as I walk beyond the barriers of mental illness, stigma, and pain.