Nobody dates anymore, nobody kisses anymore, Chivalry is dead. Conversation is only used to remove the clothes and let down guards. Its all wham bam thank you mam. Love has digressed from the club to online dating and casual sex. It appears there is no romance left in the world, well my world. Human connection has become disconnected. Fear lies more in the possibility of broken heart than in contracting an STD. Personally, I’ve been out of the dating scene for twelve years now and jumped back into the water from outside the fish bowel. As a married woman whose now single I have observed and encountered that people rarely date or seek to truly know each other. There is no real intimacy, just the hook up. Eye to eye, skin to skin, the end. Renting a movie from Redbox is what the loners do. Others in the dating swamp/pool do Whomever looks appealing or whatever feels good in the moment, just to feel the void of loneliness. I often feel like a gold fish in tank of sharks. What do I do? Twelve years ago, I met my Ex-spouse. We collided like two cars crashing, I never knew what hit me until awoke from the coma of ill-gotten love. In the beginning we talked for hours on end and dated several times a week, from karaoke, jazz bands, dancing, eating out, frequenting movies and traveling. Until the moment I said I do and came along my second son. He still went on dates, just not with me. Fast forward 13 years and as I type this I long to be liked enough to carry a meaningful conversation, have a real date night, dinner, flowers and the soft single kiss at the door. My reality is I date me. May sound sad, but for the most part I show myself a good time, just enjoying the moment of being out and not isolated. Yet at some point in life a person wants to genuinely share themselves with another, a mate for life. During my twenties I dated and partied recklessly, now at the age of 42 the rules of the game have changed.
First one of many, don’t date someone damaged as you. Two shattered people cannot become repaired together. I hurt my feet stepping on that glass. Secondly, there are sociopath wolves dressed like little red riding hood, ready in wait to devour you. look for the red flags or be emotionally eaten alive. Third rule, the young ones, beware they only want to inconsistently play with you as if you are a new car, take you on a ride, and carelessly leave you stranded. These have been the horrors of my short dating experience and starting over again adventure. I am by far no angel or perfect in any manner, perhaps had I loved myself first, genuinely and deeply, I would have gravitated towards a good guy and be happily dating, Instead of repeatedly stumbling upon the wrong ones. My aha moment is to see the power in my single while loving and discovering more of me. Perhaps on this path, I will walk right into the right one.
Stay tuned for part two of “Single again after Divorce” the story continues.
Author Christy Angelette 